Lizzy's Little Thoughts

join me in my high school! yay!

A Quick Note on Being Grateful September 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 7:25 pm

Dear students,
I’m writing to you in the middle of doing some homework that REALLY needs to get done. This is what we call procrastination. But I’d never actually admit that. I’m just going with the excuse that I can’t control when the creative juices slap me in the face. Or at least that’s what I’m telling my teachers when they as where my homework is. What are your thoughts? Will it work? I think yes… 🙂

students, I have recently noticed that I have started a lot of my blogs with “i don’t mean to rant”. And with that Epiphany I also realized that almost all I do is rant! I shouldn’t say that. That’s kind of selling my own work short. Any way you look at it my writing was not happy, but being that writing is the most personal thing that I can think of that I do, it was probably a reflection of my attitude at the time.

At the risk of sounding corny or sounding like I’m bragging I’m going to try to put into action a belief I always like to follow and that’s to not take things for granted. So I’m going to tell you, dear students, that, simply put, I’m happy now. I literally woke up one morning and realized “wow…. it is SO nice to not be so angry all the time.” and while I’m not saying that my life is perfect, because transferring schools my senior year I’m sure you can imagine it’s currently far from it, I’m just in the best place of my life that I think I ever have been. I’m releasing animosity that I didn’t even know I held. I FINALLY feel in control of my life and I love what I’ve done with the place 😉

students again, I’m not trying to just sit here and brag, and if you’ve gotten this far I think you for not ditching for inability to handle the corny-ness. But I would really like you to do the same. If you’re not happy about something, change it! And stop giving the “it’s just not that easy” excuse because I know that excuse like the back of my hand when the truth is it REALLY is that easy. Because if you never do it, you really don’t get another life to try again (unless you’re Buddhist in which case you will).

I hope you find your happiness like I have, fellow students

Robots & Dinosaurs,
Lizzy

 

My Take On: The City, The Country, and Being Happy July 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 3:38 am

Fellow students,

I haven’t written to you in quite some time. Part of me thinks it is because I fear I’ve lost my purpose for this blog, seeing as how it started as a journey though my high school and at the current moment I’m not even sure where that is. The other part of me has been working constantly and also taking care of things and hasn’t really had time to sit down and be a philosopher. I mean it’s not like Plato had a day job. Regardless of the reason, I apologize.

Like I said, I’ve been busy. I’ve been busy taking in the city. And that is enough of a task on its own for a girl coming from the booming metropolis of Jefferson, Maryland. Washington DC has already changed me, I can feel it. Maybe some ways bad but also many ways good. I suppose I have become more hardened to things that would once make me tear up. It no longer makes me sad to see a homeless person lie in the streets, though I am proud to say I am not yet annoyed by them. I have also been made to take things for granted, this is something I am not proud of. That is something I try very hard not to do. But perhaps I am just taking NEW things for granted and not so much MORE things. What I mean is that on my way home from work I look out the window of the metro and see the DC skyline over the Potomac river from the 14th street bridge. That’s something most would… no, something most DO pay good money to see and my only concern is that it’s still at least a 15 minute ride home from there.

However, as I vowed when I started this blog I will not just rant. I can tell DC has changed me for the better as well. Living in Jefferson it was almost impossible not to run into someone you know after staying in one place for about 30 minutes. In the city, the story is quite the opposite. I am dealing with new people every day of my life and that experience already has made it much easier to make new friends. Let’s face it, I wasn’t exactly an anti-social creature before but it’s just nice that talking to perfect strangers comes so naturally now.

The city is what you expect it to be. It will always be dirty, the people will always be impersonal, and it will always be crowded. Which is probably why I never expected to love it as much as I do. I always knew I was never suited for the country side but the things I’ve felt this summer are indescribable. I have felt SOME negative feelings toward leaving, anyone would. But for the most part, I have come to find such a home in the city. Perhaps it is a feeling of liberation or maybe just an acceptance of a new chapter but I feel as where this is where I’m supposed to be.

That being said, I want now to get to the main point of this post (finally). As one can imagine, it’s easy to lose yourself in the busy-ness of the city. It’s easy to blame unhappiness on not having time or control to do things. Or maybe such is life. Either way, I have decided to live by these simple words: “every day, do something that makes you smile.”

I love the idea of this. So I advise you fellow students to do the same. No matter how small, no matter how the rest of your day went, remember that we are still always the ones in control of our lives, a fact that I lost touch with for a long time. Yes, there are some things we must accept, but accepting such things would be much easier with one small dose of happy in every single day.

I dare you, fellow students, I dare you to be happy.

Robots & Dinosaurs,
Lizzy

 

Why I Hate My Job After Only Two Days June 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 4:51 pm

5) Never before have I heard so many nick-names for redheads. Thank you, drunk Nat’s fans…

4) I’m 100% sure that there is a baby dinosaur gnawing on my legs by the end of the 7th inning. That’s the only explanation for the pain.

3) If I hear anymore of the following excuses when I ask people for their pictures, I WILL stab a kitten. And I love kittens…

…. ok, so I will admit, that last one was not as predictable… but very alarming

2) Pretending you don’t hear me will NOT make me go away… I promise.

1) Perry. Perry, you are the bane of my existence as far as that job is concerned. Thank you for making me hate
everything good in this world.

 

Leaving Brunswick Behind June 14, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 10:52 am

I guess it’s about time I officially announce to everyone that I’m moving. Up till now it’s just been gossip. So let me confirm and clarify rumors now

I’m moving to Virginia. No, I will not be gone forever as I am just making the transition from my dad’s house to my mom’s house, for reasons that are my own. I feel no need to express these reasons for it’s really none of your business, internet. I hope that about sums everything up.

You know that old saying “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone? Well, I’ve always tried hard to appreciate everything I had but, as I am a human, somethings have gone overlooked. Don’t get me wrong, I know in my heart moving is the right decision, but there’s something about Brunswick high that I think I’ll really miss. I’ll miss all my favorite teachers so much. And senor, of course. I’ll miss cheer leading (as much as I complained about it). I’ll miss tennis a lot… more than I think I’m really prepared for. I’m sad that I can’t lead ms. Orr’s “Zombie Apocalypse Survival Club” and I’m sad that I can’t be Cheer captain. And I could name a million other selfish things I’d miss.

I suppose this should be entirely negative. I have certain things that make me very excited about moving. For one, I’ll be able to take a creative writing course. That’s pretty much a reason for me to leave in-and-of itself. Also, I can’t lie, I’m excited to meet some new people for a change. Over all, I don’t think it’s a bad decision, it’s just not going to be easy.

To keep on the optimistic note let me just take a moment to say. I do not regret anything I have done in Brunswick. While my life may have been easier if I hadn’t fallen for a few people, made a few wrong choices, and said a few wrong things, I do not feel like anything I have done deserves regret. I have made my mark on Brunswick the best and only way I know how. Mistakes and all, I hope that I will not be easily forgotten. The only thing I regret is not shortening the endless list of lives I haven’t entered.

As my last day at Brunswick High I just want to tell everyone there that I will miss them. It was truly a unique experience to be with a group of people so small and so close. To be perfectly honest, I never gave Brunswick much credit. But we always look on the past fondly. I hope that I never forget the people I have met from Brunswick and I hope you all leave room on the dance floor for me because I plan to come to your homecoming 🙂

To my cheerleaders: I so wish I could have been your captain this year. It has really been my dream since freshmen year. I know that you girls will do me proud, regardless and you better believe I will be in the stands for your competitions and pep-rally. Whether I’m OFFICIALLY a Roader or not, it’ll be hard to stop me from doing “The Roader Rumble” when I just get bored/

to my teachers:
Ms. Orr – you have inspired me to reach so much further in my love for English. Never have I had a teach who has made such an impact on me. I will so miss being your super SSL. And I am beyond sorry that I couldn’t lead Brunswick though a zombie apocalypse with you.

Mr. Hildbold – you have done the impossible sir, you taught me something in math. I really don’t think I’ll ever find another teacher who takes such a genuine interest in helping students. I’ll miss our conversations. Thank you for helping me.

Mr. Eiler – you have opened a whole new world of writing to me. Your class was probably one of the hardest I’ve ever taken, and while I DO hate that I only got a “B” I don’t feel as though I’ve ever walked away from a class with so much knowledge. I doubt I’ll ever forget how frustrated your work made me, but I’ll also never forget how much pride I had in what I did in your class.

My other teachers – all of you have taught me somethings i’m likely to never forget. While not all of you were the easiest to get though, I thank you. Being a teacher doesn’t look like such an easy job.

I could sit and write for ages about the people who have effected my lives, but I live by the philosophy that I should tell them on a regular basis. And I hope that I do. Everyone who I have ever called “my friend” means more to me than I think you guys will ever know. If you ever need ANYTHING, even if it’s a four O’clock in the morning, I will try my hardest to do it for you. Because I know you’d do the same.

I hope that this post clears things up and while it is mostly for me to just say how i’m feeling I hope those who are currently in Brunswick will see that, maybe it’s not all bad. Things are rough all over but I know for a fact there are a few people in Brunswick worth fighting for, even though the worst of times. Brunswick High School, you will not be easily forgotten. And you have certainly not seen the last of Miss Lizzy Knapp

Hugs & Kisses, Caps & Gowns,
Lizzy

 

Here’s to the Mom May 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 11:05 am

Well, ladies and gentlemen it is 10:41pm, meaning that it is STILL officially mother’s day and I’m not THAT much of a dead-beat :). So to all you soon-to-be or current mothers might I just say…. hats off to ya? I don’t’ think I could do it. So to all you children of mothers out there: have you done anything for your mom yet? I’m guilty of it myself but I think that too often we take our mommies for granted. I think we need to take a look at her and say “thank you”. Trust me, she won’t ask for what because there are a TON of things in her head you should have thanked her for already. 🙂

So this is my “thank you” to my mom. My one-of-a-kind, crazy, witty, brilliant, beautiful, unconventional, contractor-barbie, sarcastic, fantastic, amazing mother. She is my best friend and one of the only people on Earth who can actually make me feel better when I feel sad. Good, bad, hard, (I’d say easy here but I don’t know if it ever was), mom got us through it all. And I don’t know if a lifetime of thanks could ever be enough. And I know what you’re thinking, and yes, you’re right, I didn’t get her a present but that doesn’t mean I didn’t try to. Besides, this is better. It’s from the heart. Can you say that about YOUR gift? 😛

I’ve always prided myself on being “independent” but if it came down to it I’ve always know that I’ve needed my mommy. She and I can butt heads but she has done more for me than I can ever appreciate. Mom, I know I wasn’t always the easiest and I know we weren’t always so close but I love you times a million and I can’t imagine getting though life without you.

I know everyone thinks their mom is the best mom in the world so they won’t believe me when I tell them that mine actually IS the best mom in the world. Joking aside, I’m pretty sure it’s just that our moms tailor to us. We think to ourselves “what other mom would put up with me?” but that’s the amazing thing about mothers, they always will. I’m convinced my mom is super-woman. Just the task of raising me is enough to win someone a metal. Seriously, is there some kind of award for people who have gone though hell and back? Cuz that’s pretty much how you sum-up dealing with me.

So I must now say here’s to my mom… the best way I know how:

Here’s to the mom:
-who dances around the living room to “train in vain” with me
-who makes me feel like I can really do anything
-who makes the BEST spinach and artichoke dip in the world
-who tries so hard to find all my stories interesting
-who has had four kids and still makes the FAMs look her way
-who has a garden Martha Stewart would be jealous of
-who will probably cringe when reading the last sentence since it’s ended with a preposition
-who read me Shakespeare as a bed-time story
-who made me want to be myself
-who introduced me to the clash (and other 80’s punk rock)
-who dyes my hair for me
-who gives the best hugs
-who can put you to sleep when she plays with your hair
-who attacks like a momma bear when someone messes with her cubs
-who had more flip-flops than years in her life
-who can’t sing to save her life
-who dances better than any mom I know
-who calls me “dude”
-who, when I’m on the phone with her my friends think I’m talking to my best friend 🙂
-who I can’t thank enough
Moooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm

 

If Walls Could Talk

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 10:38 am

If walls were breathing, they’d hear screaming.
They would try to hide their weeping.

As if crying was a crime,
As if tears had such a fine.

If walls has lips and they could speak,
they would make your knees go weak.

They’d tell stories, free of lies,
that would make you start to cry.

But if they really could be heard,
they wouldn’t use their lips for words.

If they did, they’d never shout,
but they wouldn’t speak, I have no doubt.

Not because they’d be too scared,
nor because they never cared.

Their lip-less life, they’d never miss,
because now they can give a kiss.

Maybe they can’t end my sadness,
but they’d attempt to stop this madness.

When they kiss me on the cheek,
that means more than words they’d speak.

If walls could talk, they’d never judge,
they’d just support and never budge.

 

Jacquerie April 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 12:14 am

In a box we are contained.
In that glass we have remained.
We are told to just wait here.
If we do, escape is near.

There are stories we are told.
About people who have grown old,
Waiting for their time to come
To be free where they can run.

They have never seen this day
But very still they always stay.
Days to weeks and weeks to years,
Still they’ll stay, despite the tears.

But I refuse to be like that.
I refuse to be a rat.
Rejecting to be caged and used.
Just stay still? No, I refuse.

I will fight and kick and scream.
‘Til I tear and rip the seams
Of this box, this prison cell
That is my little slice of hell.

Call me crazy, call me sick
Tell me I’m just full of it
But never will I be OK
If I don’t see the light of day.